Linekar BBC
Chelsea Premier League

Linekar to present MOTD covered in Russian oil if Chelsea win

Following on from his hilarious hijinks on the first broadcast this season of match of the day, where crisp salesman Linekar began the show only in Leicester City shorts, Linekar today made another promise about what happens if Chelsea win the premiership.

“After Leicester won the league last season I followed through on my promise to present in shorts. This season if Chelsea win, I’ll present it drenched in ill-gotten crude Russian oil taken from people’s land without any recompense and used exclusively for my own profit.”

It’s not entirely sure what point failed Barcelona striker Linekar is trying to make. Perhaps that Chelsea seem very long odds indeed for such a triumph.

Linekar BBC
Image courtesy BBC Sport

He also vowed to rig an election, commit loan fraud, illegally dilute shares, break antitrust laws and criminally threaten a business partner during the broadcast should Chelsea win.

Should Manchester United in, Linekar is expected to drain $1 billion from the coffers of Match of the day and if City come out on top Linekar has vowed to suppress human rights in his home town of Leicester. Linekar refused to entertain the notion that anyone else would win the league this season, claiming he could never imagine an upset happening where a team outside the top six would somehow upset the apple cart.


Images courtesy BBC Sport

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