Big Sam is no more. Who could have predicted such a dramatic fall from grace for the ex-Bolton manager? Keeping it English has been the message recently from the FA. Roy Hogson was sacked after another underwhelming performance at a major championship. Sam Allardyce was meant to steady the ship and put a bit of fire in the English bellies. Then the Telegraph “entrapped him”and also well, managed to entrap his financial adviser and, ahem, his agent. So who will now take on the toughest job in football? We look at the top 5 contenders for the England job.
The favourite: GARETH SOUTHGATE
How did England find themselves in this position? When Gareth Southgate is their clear favourite to take over, alarm bells should be ringing. After a very mediocre spell in club football (including a relegation), the ex-Villa captain decided to secure a public sector pension by working with the FA. His work with the U-21’s has been slightly above average. Is that what the English fans want; slightly above average? It’s unclear whether Southgate will be able to motivate the current bunch of maestros and misfits to succeed. The next few games will be his interview for the job. With such an easy group, he could end up securing the role.
Photo by Ben Sutherland
THE PROFESSOR: ARSENE WENGER
This is a story most likely created out of thin air by a desperate journalist. However, the twitteri (and bookmakers) are taking it seriously. Why Arsene Wenger would leave the comfort of a secure job for the England role is beyond me. He’s not even English. Some of the Brexit supporters would not be impressed. “This is not what we voted for!!” Wenger has also never managed an international side. That didn’t work out too well for Capello. Hopefully Wenger will stick to being hated by 50% of Arsenal fans, rather than 50% of fans nationwide.
Photo by Ronnie Macdonald
THE WIKIPEDIA OPTION: ralf rangnick
The Sporting Director at Red Bull Leipzg is not a household name in the U.K. Fans hoping for a marquee managerial signing would perhaps be disappointed. Rangnick however, has been in football management since 1983. The 58 year would bring a wealth of experience. RB Leipzig are also, perhaps, the most hated club in Germany. Many critics have accused them of selling their soul to the corporate devils, Red Bull. Now that they’ve reached the Bundesliga, more abuse is being hurled at them. Ability to take abuse? Constant criticism, you say? Hated by other teams? Give this man the job!
Photo by Thomas Rodenbücher
THE TRILOGY OPTION: STEVE BRUCE
Roy, Sam and Steve. Why the hell not? If you’re looking to continue the recent trend of hiring slightly above average English managers, look no further than Steve Bruce. Given time, the former Man United CB can typically turn a team around. The only problem is the instant gratification requirement of the media. England have a terribly easy group, so that would give Bruce time to get comfortable (in the white rhino leather sofa Sam had brought in). He also has experience with over achieving with mediocre players *cough* suits England *cough*.
Photo by domfell
THE WILDCARD:GLENN HODDLE
If Hoddle gets the England job, Big Sam will believe there’s a chance again for him in the future. Hoddle, of course, was the England manager during the late nineties and played an attractive, attacking style of football. Everything was going swimmingly until Hoddle decided to tell a morning chat show that he believed disabled people were being punished for crimes they committed in previous lives. 17 years on, he’s one of the front runners for the English role. See, Big Sam? All’s not lost! Hoddle hasn’t managed a club or national side since his disastrous reign at Wolves ended in 2006. A decade of relaxation may be just what the new English coach needs in order to take the pressure.
Photo by Doha Stadium Plus
decision time: who is your pick?
We’ve now gone through the top 5 contenders for the England job. Who would be your pick to get the coveted role?