Following news of how Britain actually views the border between Northern and Southern Ireland, Northern Ireland manager Michael O’Neill has expressed delight at all the extra players he’ll have at his disposal.
“Now we can fail to qualify by much, much less. It’s a revelation. Being able to call on players like Robbie Brady and Darren Randolph means now we can fight even harder for those crucial nil-all draws.”
“Wes Houlihan will start ever game. That’s for sure!”
O’Neill, who has never been seen in the same room as his namesake, Republic of Ireland manager, Martin, and refuses to wear glasses in public, denied it was yet another opportunity to fully unite the sides.
“It hasn’t helped the cricket team win anything has it? I can’t think of a sport that’s benefited from Irish unification. Not even one.” Finishing the press conference, O’Neill sprinted out of the room with his fingers in his ears singing above the shouts of assembled journalists.