Everton FC today issued a giant product recall encompassing all the number 9 Belgian strikers sold this past summer.
Citing faulty wiring leading to defective and deteriorating performance, Everton issued an urgent and country wide recall with the utmost urgency. With the Champions League next round things are liable to get worse fast.
“People using this product in the hope of winning football games are liable to be sorely disappointed. It really produces very little of what was initially promised.”
The product is understood to backfire in key moments, fail to integrate with other products and cost the purchaser a great deal of money.
Purchasers of the product were unable to be reached for comment but were understood to already be aware of the product issues.