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Vader denies FIFA bribery secured Death Star World Cup bid

Darth Vader strenuously denied allegations made by various media outlets today that hefty payments of Imperial Credit lodged to the bank accoints of senior FIFA officials had anything to do with the decision to move the World Cup from the summer – during the day time on earth – to the perpetual night time of a deep space weapons base millions of light years away.

“It’s preposterous to claim our bid wasn’t the best for the game. Simply because we’re crushing all the domestic and European competitions. It’s high time the World Cup was finally hosted on an imperial battle station constructed under a regime of fear and oppression.”

EBay.com

Accusations of droid slave labour and horrendous working conditions were also denied by the sith lord, towering over assembled journalists with his light sabre.

“We’re due to have 14 stadiums built for the kick off and it’ll only be physically possible to complete 9. So torture and starvation and threats are only to be expected.”

Accusations that the whole competition is simply being used as a propaganda vehicle for the dark side were raised once more by the press but Lord Vader had a very simple response.

“This competition is not being used as a propaganda vehicle for the dark side. ”

And it’s impossible not to agree. This competition is not being used as a propaganda vehicle for the dark side.

 

Image: nerdist.com

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