Liverpool Uncategorized

Firmino: It’s okay I was only calling his mother a whore

Roberto Firmino went to clarify what happened in the FA cup tie when he squared up to Everton’s Mason Holgate.

The Brazilian took pains to make sure people understood what he said had no racist or discriminatory tones.

“I kept it clean,” Firmino said, “All I did was call his mother a low down filthy whore. ” The room of assembled journalists and FA delegates breathed an audible sigh of relief.

Image: Twitter

“We would never stand in the way of one of our players’ inalienable rights to horribly insult a man’s parentage on the field of play.” An FA spokesperson later said. “So long as it doesn’t include anything to do with race or sexuality.”

“I would never say anything that might cause serious offence to fans and players. I was careful only to suggest that Holgate’s mother accepts payments from men to perform lurid sexual acts, perhaps down seedy alleyways. And I hinted she probably enjoyed it. It’s all just banter really.” The Brazil forward laughed.

The room broke out into applause and various Liverpool delegates openly embraced.

Holgate was not reachable for comment.

 

 

 

Image: Sky Sports

 

* The above article is satirical and no footballers were harmed in its production

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