International Irish Football

Nation collectively forgives businessman now we’ll need new manager

With Martin O’Neill and Roy Keane deep in talks for obviously far higher paid jobs at Stoke, the citizens of Ireland grouped together this week to collectively absolve a certain businessman from any past wrongdoing in the hope he’ll splash out on some fancy Dan foreigner.

“Sure what did he ever really do anyway?” Local man Dan Cuddihy set things straight outside of a Centra in Carlow. “His only crime in my eyes was success. Don’t forget this is a nation of begruders. As soon as you raise your head up they only want to chop it off. He’s a grand lad in my book.”

Your charter copter is ready for the escape lads

As the country gathered as one to see who we’ll be able to afford, it dawned on everyone we wouldn’t be near able to afford anyone half decent without the input of this one nationally beloved businessman.

“Sure we wouldn’t hardly have a team at all without this one nationally beloved businessman to pay for everything from James McClean’s sectarian tattoos to John Delaney’s Bugatti Veyron. Let’s face it, nobody can really name anything that may or may not have happened. It seems like journos hate him. Which is reason enough for me to like him.” Cuddihy said, eyes down sipping on his can.

So let’s let bygones be bygones and put any past wrongdoing behind us till we have some top quality manager in the bag. So three cheers for this one businessman, who maybe, just maybe will be able to get us all the way to almost qualifying for the Euros.

 

 

Inset Photo by Irish Defence Forces

Pollemma is a satirical site. No businessmen or footballers were harmed in the creation of this article.

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