Kevin De Bryne and Mo Salah have joined forces to send a coded text via the encrypted messaging service, Telegram. The coded message to Alexis Sanchez includes a picture of a double decker bus running over superimposed images of De Bryne and Salah in Chelsea jerseys. Under the image is the text “you’re next”. Alexis Sanchez, who is on the verge of a major transfer to Manchester United, is seemingly perplexed by the message:
“I haven’t taken a bus since my days as a boy in Tocapilla. I would get on a small bus and it would bring me to training but I’ve never actually been on a double decker bus, nor played for Chelsea. I showed it to my soon-to-be new boss, Jose Mourinho, and he became quite angry. It has all been a bit strange”.
Mourinho has apparently now submitted complaints to the FA, Transport for London, Adobe Systems and UEFA. Analysts have conducted a deep dive in to the image and concluded that Kevin De Bryne and Mo Salah must have been run over by a double decker bus in separate incidents when they first arrived in England. Dr. Tobias Fulke stated:
“I don’t know anything about football but I do know these boys are suffering from BPTSD. The B is for Bus. They should get help for their problem rather than involving poor Alexis in their struggle. Sure he hasn’t been on a bus since his youth in Tocapilla”.
Man City and Liverpool have refused to comment on the alleged message. Jose Mourinho is scheduled to have a two hour conference call with Shantanu Narayen, the CEO of Adobe Systems, the company that owns Photoshop, later this afternoon. Alexis Sanchez still doesn’t know what’s going on.