With his best mate headed up to Manchester, Arsenal star Mesut Ozil tried to brush off the whole thing as ‘totally fine’ with a series of photos supposedly enjoying a day out in the city. Clearly intended to make Alexis Sanchez jealous that he’s already found new mates and still lives in a thriving global capital, the photos paint a very different picture. A picture of a lonesome soul, kitted out in pricey streetwear, adrift in a city of faceless drones.
Ozil is pictured on an empty tube carriage, trying to look like he’s not looking up instagram updates from Alexis on his phone, trying to hold it together on a bench on the Northern line and aimlessly shambling around Picadilly circus like this was his first weekend in the capital.
Visibly not pursuing the normal things a tourist might do out in the city, like visiting Madam Tussauds or just getting hammered in some charmless side street local, Ozil was overheard listening to this on his earphones:
Worst of all Ozil claimed to have been ‘out with the boys’ but it was clear the photos were taken by just one person, quite possibly his mum, as he sank ever more visibly into the lonesome despair that grips a man when he realises, like a captain on the titanic, that he’s the last player at a sinking club. It’s hard not to feel for the guy. Decked out like a thirteen year old boy to desperately try and make new friends. Cajoled by his mum to go up and speak to someone in a shop who likes baseball caps too.
“Alexis isn’t returning his calls,” his mum confessed in private, “he seems to be too bust practicing his dabbing and doing something called ‘parking the bus’ none of which Mesut knows anything about.”
The Germany star’s mum will be hoping Arsenal target Aubemeyang might be into the same games and shit the playmaker is, because she’s getting sick of listening to radiohead coming out of his bedroom.