Martin O’Neill admitted today that he was back mainly to “fuck people’s shit up” and “burn the haters” who dissed him during Ireland’s failed Russia 2018 bid.
Speaking at a press conference called by the Ireland manager at 11.30 outside an inner city Dublin pub, O’Neill came over irate and emotional delivering his rant over a beatboxing James McClean in the background.
”People like Tony O’Donoghue, showing up asking me questions. He’s not the boss of me. He’s first against the wall.” By now O’Neill was being physically restrained, throwing bizarre gang signs around and spilling a great deal of his white wine.
“Mo fos gon’ see. You fuck with the king you best not miss.”
By now shirtless and wearing what can only be described as a handkerchief tied around his head, O’Neill claimed only god could judge him and mimed gunning down each member of the assembled press core with his fingers.
”Tony Donoghue claiming that my luck ran out. Did luck bring me all this?” O’Neill declared, gesturing toward his chest bedecked with gold chains and tattoos of various hip hop stars.
FAI supremo John Delaney later confirmed that raw, burning hatred was the only reason O’Neill didn’t sign for stoke in the end. Mainly toward Donoghue.
”You should see his bedroom. It’s mainly just photos of Tony O’Donoghue with dicks drawn all over his face. That and the words ‘hard luck’ written over and over again. He won’t let his mam take them down.” Delaney shook his head mournfully. “In the end Stoke simply couldn’t offer that kind of motivation.”