A thick fog of accusations and recriminations befell the world of inter county hurling this week when Galway star Joe Canning was accused of tampering with the sliotar during his team’s latest series of wins.
It was revealed that sometimes hurlers can lightly graze their fingernails over the surface of the sliotar or in some cases rub flat 7up, Tayto grease or parish holy water into one side of the ball to influence its spin in crucial moments of the match.
“Its a highly illegal practice but one which sadly blights the game.” Said one insider. “ And not only that, sometimes a lad, if he’s feeling up against it, might be tempted to start rubbing his hurl between his legs which, while wearing ludicrously short shorts, can elicit special oils beneficial to spin and bounce.
Galway star Joe Canning stands accused of all of the above. “ It would make you want to fucking puke so it would,” President and Galway fan Michael D Higgins roared at reporters from his passing Honda Civic.
County Sponsor Supermacs are Said to be reconsidering their sponsorship of anything that doesn’t promote a healthy outdoor lifestyle in a positive light.
Image: her.ie & sky sports