In an escalating trend of making outrageous claims, Harry Kane has now revealed that is the Zodiac Killer. In a sensational press conference, the Spurs striker also stated that he was solely responsible for the global economic meltdown in 2008 and for the invention of the hoverboard. Kane kicked this week off by claiming a Christian Eriksen shot had clipped his shoulder before going in against Stoke. Everyone laughed, until the Premier League agreed with this claim. Now Kane’s revelation that he is the 1970’s Californian serial murderer, the Zodiac Killer, has stunned the world. The centre forward held nothing back from speaking to the press earlier:
” I’m relieved that the Premier League saw sense and awarded my shoulder the goal against Stoke. Only 4 away from Salah now so anything is possible. I would also like to reveal that I am Zodiac Killer. Some people may dismiss this claim but just like my shoulder scoring against Stoke, but it will be proven to be true “
Inventor of the hoverboard
When asked to clarify by the press how a 25 year old could have carried out the serial killings in the early 1970’s, Kane deflected the question with more audacious claims:
“Who could have predicted the global economic crash back in the 1970’s, or for that matter, the invention of the hoverboard? Me. That’s who. I would like to claim full responsibility for the financial meltdown in 2008 and for the recent invention of everyone’s favourite form of transport, the hoverboard ”
Kane and his various body parts will look to add to their goal tally this weekend against the defensive comedy sitcom of Man City.
In other news, Ted Cruz has taken a huge sigh of relief.
Photo by automobileitalia