People are finally paying attention to ‘Mystic’ Matilda Collins after yet another one of her amazing plane banner prophesies came to pass today.
”Admittedly I do rarely go out on a limb,” the 60 year old tea leaf reader came clean to us, “and some of my predictions, such as ‘Man City won’t be relegated’ and ‘Mourinho will blame his players’ are hardly long shots, but I have been known to get it right on occasion.”
Mystic Matilda’s extremely expensive banner ‘West Ham fans will storm the pitch and one of them will be assaulted by the club captain’ amazed many while ‘Roma will come back against Barca scoring three in the second leg’ flown over Barnsley Shopping Centre the day before has made many wonder if Matilda has supernatural abilities.
”I’m already getting my next banners ready but they may not be to everyone’s taste. Be warned the tea leaves never lie! ‘Liverpool will struggle against Roma’s staunchly defensive central midfield on an emotional night of reflection on past tragedies ‘ cost me enough to have to remortgage my house but it will be worth it.”
“I just wish the man who helps me read the tea leaves would charge me less for the banners they need afterward.”