Local corner shop takes down window picture of Ronaldo amid ‘growing concerns’
‘Brady’s all you can buy’ discount shop in Bagenalstown Co. Carlow today removed the photo of Cristiano Ronaldo they’ve been using to sell 99 cent footballs to locals since 2012 amid concerns around the footballer’s involvement in an ever growing rape accusation.
“Brady’s discount all you can buy store is monitoring the situation very carefully,” said Mrs. Brady. “Brady’s takes allegations of sexual assault extremely seriously as this stands very much against our brand values and everything that Brady’s means to consumers.”
The photo, which is yellowed almost beyond recognition from the sun, depicts Ronaldo in happier times, as a callow young Manchester United number 7.
It’s been a tough year for Brady’s with their Bill Cosby sweater corner, Kevin Spacey astronomy shelf and the ill timed Johnny Depp ‘pirates of the curried beans’ promotion.
“Our Woody Allen firewood promotion came hot on the heels of our discount Harvey Weinstein Halloween Bordeaux extravaganza. The Louis CK aftershave promotion was a disaster too. Although it took off when we changed it to hand lotion and tissues.”
Brady’s special deal with the local travel agent for a school children trip to The Italian capital followed by skiing near Krakow “Rome and Poland Ski” was a social media disaster almost as bad as ‘Al Porter’s Grab a Can Guinness Friday’.
“It’s been an up and down year here at Brady’s if we’re honest. So we need to be careful about which footballer represents our sporting merchandise.” The company have replaced the photo with one of arch-rival Leo Messi, whose only crime this far has been massive tax fraud. “Which is much more palatable.” Smiled Mrs. Brady.
Image: daily mirror